I recently wrote this post for Ohmama.co, but I really wanted to share it on my blog, too. Being a mom is obviously a HUGE part of my life, so even though this isn’t a fashion or beauty post, I think many will be able to relate to it. I’m an ‘open book’ kind of person. If I’m having a bad day, I have a hard time faking it and saying “I’m wonderful”! When it comes to being a mom, I’m the exact same way. I’m brutally honest about my ‘mom struggles’ and could never pretend like being a mom comes naturally to me or is the least bit easy, because it doesn’t and it’s not. I wrote this article because I know there are other moms out there who feel the way I do, and struggle with the overwhelming stress and balance of it all. I’m all about keeping it real!
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Do you ever have those days as a mom where you want to run away? If so, keep reading. We all love our kids, but being a mom is the hardest job ever and can make you feel a little crazy at times. I am the kind of mom that needs to step away from being a mom once in a while to stay sane. I need some time to breathe, time to eat without someone stealing half my food, and time to go to the bathroom. Alone. As moms, we can get burned out if we don’t set any time aside for ourselves. Over the past 2 1/2 years since my son was born, I’ve discovered little ways to make time for me and escape the madness. Because sometimes, all mama needs is a little break. Here are my tips on how I stay sane as a mom:
- Mama’s night out – This could be anything, but it should happen once a month MINIMUM, depending on your level of crazy. 😉 For me it’s usually 2-3 times a month. Shopping is one of my favorite things to do, so my mama’s night out usually consists of going to the mall on a Friday night by myself (ahhhhhh). Luckily my hubby is on board with this idea and understands that I need it for my sanity. There are nights he comes home and can tell it’s been a long day. He’ll say “I think you need to go to the mall”, and this mama runs out the door!
- Treat yourself – Sometimes, the littlest things can make you feel better when you’re close to pulling your hair out. The other week I took my son to the Crayola Experience. It’s a super cool place, but on this particular day, it was mobbed. It was comparable to Times Square on New Year’s Eve (okay, maybe not that bad, but you get the point). By the time we left, I felt like I had run a marathon and was completely drained emotionally. My son fell asleep on the way home, so I went through the Starbucks drive-thru. That little iced chai latte sure turned things around! Sometimes it takes a little treat to get you through. Chocolate, ice cream, a donut…whatever it takes. Indulge! You’ll feel so much better!
- Know your limits – This is a big one for me, and something I do all the time. Here’s a perfect example: My friend invites me to go to story time with the kids. My son is cranky and story time falls right at nap time. I decide not to go, because I know how this is going to go down. First of all, my son doesn’t sit still. Secondly, he’s super tired and is probably going to have a complete meltdown at some point due to lack of nap, which means mama is going to get stressed. Nobody knows a child better than their mama. Go with your gut! If you feel like a situation is going to be a disaster, it probably is. Don’t take the chance unless you want to deal with the consequences. And don’t feel bad saying no. For me, it’s much easier to say no than to deal with a hot mess situation, that in turn is going to leave me feeling like a hot mess. So know your limits, and avoid putting yourself in situations that are going to make you stressed, upset, or crazy.
- Girl’s night – This one can get tricky, especially if your friends are moms, too. Everyone’s schedules conflict and it’s hard to make plans. It’s so important to get out with your girlfriends! Ideally, I’d like to do girl’s night once a month, but sometimes the time gets away from me. I notice when I’m out with friends I laugh a lot. Laughter is so underrated. There have been times when I had the longest week ever and felt like I was going crazy in mom land, and a night out with my friends was the perfect remedy. The next day I felt alive, refreshed, and happy. It’s all about getting away and taking a break from the day-to-day monotony.
- Find a hobby – Some people lose their sense of self when they become a mom, and this is usually what is lacking. Find a hobby (old or new) that is something you can do by yourself. Is there something you loved to do before you had kids, but don’t do anymore? Make time to do it again. After I had my son, I decided to start my fashion & beauty blog, Lipgloss & Labels. Fashion is something I’ve always loved, and I needed to find a way to keep that in my life, even as a mom. It’s my creative outlet and my way of connecting with the person I was before I became a mom, because that person is still there. You can’t give up everything when you become a mom. You are already sacrificing so much! It’s so important to take the time to do things that make you happy!
- Pamper yourself – Every now and then, take time to relax. Go to the spa, get a pedicure, or give yourself a mani at home. I don’t know about you, but when I look my best, I feel my best. Put on some makeup or do whatever you need to do to feel good about yourself. When I was pregnant, I remember a friend of mine giving me specific advice for after I had the baby. She said “whatever you do, put makeup on in the morning”. She knows doing my makeup is part of my daily routine (it’s part of hers too), and that I would need to keep doing that, even as a mom. Sometimes, just throwing on a little mascara and lip gloss can make a world of difference in how you feel.
- Date night – After all, hubby/significant other was #1 before the kids came along wasn’t he? It’s so important to make time for him once in a while. Getting out and doing something alone together (minus the kiddos) is really important. Going to dinner and actually getting to eat and have an adult conversation is so rare, but so good for you both. A little romance never hurt anyone either!
- Laugh – As a mom, you will have moments where you feel so crazy you’ll want to cry! Like me, for example, the other day at the grocery store. My son insisted on sitting in the back of the cart for whatever reason. He was poking holes in the mushroom container, sitting on a red pepper, then all of a sudden, he bumped the front part (where I had blueberries sitting so he wouldn’t eat them) and they went flying everywhere! I wanted to cry. Then, as he fought me while I tried to get him to sit in the front of the cart (the kid is over half my height and almost half my weight), I pictured how hysterical I must look wrestling with a two-year-old, and just starting cracking up. I mean, what else could I do but laugh? It was either that or cry, and laughing seemed like the least embarrassing option at the time. Plus it kept me from completely losing it! Sometimes, you just have to laugh.
It’s all about balance. All of these things make me feel better, which in turn, makes me a better mom. If mama isn’t happy, no one is happy. You are the glue, and if you can’t take care of you, how are you supposed to take care of everyone else? Just promise me that you’ll take a break once in a while. You deserve it, mama!
Photo by CAG Photography
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